Tag Archives: random thoughts

Taking a break from Twitter, a Ramble update

Recently, and as a result of the studies showing that Twitter is chemically addictive, and bad for mood, I decided to take a break from Twitter, especially. This was intended to mean I didn’t hear in great detail any more of the tribulations going on in the US at the time, over the invasion of the Capitol, which was on my Twitter feed in great detail.

I *intended* to only be off during January, but have ended up being off for longer. I still regularly find myself opening my Twitter app, looking at the red number of unread tweets incrementing (over 1,400 last time I checked), and then closing it immediately.

I’ve also massively cut down on my news reading — previously, I was spending 1-2 hours a day reading news via The Guardian app. I’ve had an addiction to reading the news since I was a teenager, so cutting myself off has been odd. Still scanned the headlines now and then — need to know what’s happening with lockdown, but otherwise I’ve mostly disconnected.

Did end up reading a fairly horrific news article on BBC News, some reports coming out of Xinjiang in China. I ended up writing a letter to my MP, the Conservative Steve Barclay, asking what the government was doing in response to it. I’m hoping the response is more than just waffle, but at least I’ve done something, even if it’s very minimal.

My mental health has been fairly dreadful. Still hopeful that my twitter break is helpful, but it’s hard. I tried to only read the tweets of people that a) I found very useful/interesting, or b) who talked to me at least periodically on twitter. It’s been odd not talking to people on twitter, but the past few years I’ve mostly been Re-Tweeting things I agree with, rather than interacting. Might be time to call it over.

Currently, trying to resume work via a phased return. So far so difficult. Still, really struggling to control focus on work, to be able to concentrate on a task steadily over a period.

I think this is enough of a rambly blog for now. Will try to get some more interesting articles/analysis posted, as mental health allows.

Mood drop

I use moodscope to monitor my mental state, and my daily score is sent to Patsi and my Psychologist. He emailed me to ask what was causing drop in mood today. This is what I replied.

Had a migraine, exhausted, couldn’t work. Guilty I couldn’t work, plus ashamed I called off work, and a little worried taken too much time off work, and feeling dumb and stupid, wanting to curl into a ball.

I hate being ill.

Book Review: Altered Carbon

Altered Carbon cover courtesy of Amazon

Altered Carbon cover courtesy of Amazon

I finished Altered Carbon, the first book by Richard Morgan, Sci-fi, a couple of days ago. It’s taken a few days for my ideas upon it to crystalise..

It’s a complex weaving book, very, very good for his first. The plot moves thick and fast, set in an ugly futuristic society. The technology of the sci-fi not that new, but its a novel implementation.. what happens when humans can be digitally stored, but set in a plot. My most stringent criticism would be that the primary character shows borderline superhero syndrome, or of being a “superhero” in a world that should have none. Mostly explained in the story well, but borderline. If I want to read a superhero story, I’ll go read a superman or batman comic 😉

The book touches on our societies current quest for immortality, and it’s something I’ve thought of recently as well. Our society is broken, and still reeling from the changes that computers have brought upon it. We can now communicate a lot further a lot faster than ever before. It is unlikely, that had I been writing this 20 years ago, that this post would have been able to exist, let alone be able to be read by people living almost anywhere in the world. We seem fixated with our human needs; you just have to go on google, and be a little careless to bring up an example of rule 34 1 .

Believing as I do in a world beyond this, seeing everyone so fixated on their needs now, rarely thinking about others, rarely thinking about the future beyond their deaths hurts. Some humanists are changing this, and I am probably using too big a brush in some cases, but still.. worth thinking about possibly.

  1. Internet axiom created by the 4chan community. If it exists, there is porn of it (normally on the internet).