Tag Archives: ramble

Taking a break from Twitter, a Ramble update

Recently, and as a result of the studies showing that Twitter is chemically addictive, and bad for mood, I decided to take a break from Twitter, especially. This was intended to mean I didn’t hear in great detail any more of the tribulations going on in the US at the time, over the invasion of the Capitol, which was on my Twitter feed in great detail.

I *intended* to only be off during January, but have ended up being off for longer. I still regularly find myself opening my Twitter app, looking at the red number of unread tweets incrementing (over 1,400 last time I checked), and then closing it immediately.

I’ve also massively cut down on my news reading — previously, I was spending 1-2 hours a day reading news via The Guardian app. I’ve had an addiction to reading the news since I was a teenager, so cutting myself off has been odd. Still scanned the headlines now and then — need to know what’s happening with lockdown, but otherwise I’ve mostly disconnected.

Did end up reading a fairly horrific news article on BBC News, some reports coming out of Xinjiang in China. I ended up writing a letter to my MP, the Conservative Steve Barclay, asking what the government was doing in response to it. I’m hoping the response is more than just waffle, but at least I’ve done something, even if it’s very minimal.

My mental health has been fairly dreadful. Still hopeful that my twitter break is helpful, but it’s hard. I tried to only read the tweets of people that a) I found very useful/interesting, or b) who talked to me at least periodically on twitter. It’s been odd not talking to people on twitter, but the past few years I’ve mostly been Re-Tweeting things I agree with, rather than interacting. Might be time to call it over.

Currently, trying to resume work via a phased return. So far so difficult. Still, really struggling to control focus on work, to be able to concentrate on a task steadily over a period.

I think this is enough of a rambly blog for now. Will try to get some more interesting articles/analysis posted, as mental health allows.

Mood drop

I use moodscope to monitor my mental state, and my daily score is sent to Patsi and my Psychologist. He emailed me to ask what was causing drop in mood today. This is what I replied.

Had a migraine, exhausted, couldn’t work. Guilty I couldn’t work, plus ashamed I called off work, and a little worried taken too much time off work, and feeling dumb and stupid, wanting to curl into a ball.


I hate being ill.

On the nature of IT exhaustion (a ramble)

On the nature of sysadmin / ops crunch, exhaustion, and other things like learning programming languages and music.

Work projects have recently started to basically enter a crunch mode, whereby we’ve a tight deadline to complete. I’ve found, some days, I’m ending up being completely exhausted, to my surprise. Mainly I’ve been sitting in a chair and typed all day, working out problems in systems or configuration, nothing too taxing, and certainly not detailed programming, others are working on that.

Still, after 8 hours I find my mind slows, and everything is harder. Getting up and moving around buys a little time, as does caffeine, but I wonder, does anyone else working in IT get this sometimes? Especially when their project seems to require stretching of your mental capacity? Please do provide your thoughts below

Back when I coded for a living, I found when learning new programming language that I’d have to have silence around me, otherwise I couldn’t concentrate. All other times (dealing with support tickets, helping clients, or just actually programming), I need music. Which is a bit weird. I need background noise, else I find it uncomfortable to work.

20131222-235946.jpgWorked for a few days in central London last week, which was nice, we got a lot done, and working with one of my colleagues there is great. But whilst working, I noticed not needing music. The street sounds outside were pretty constant low-level, plus the noise of the office upstairs. I’m guessing my normally huge music consumption is related to needing background noise to tune out?